I confess - I have never decorated. DH has papered three rooms - once when I was in hospital in the early nineties, once when I was at work and he had flu (it says a lot about DH that he manically papered when he had real, proper flu and was running on lemsip and adrenaline) back long before bear was born, around 1997, and once when bear was expected. He did a pretty good job each time, but it's not his natural habitat.
I feel a bit of a failure as a wife. In DH's family it is usually the women who decorate. My mother didn't decorate and while father did, I never lived with him to 'labour' for him and learn the ropes until he moved in with us, and then I was too terrified to let him decorate as he would insist on going up ladders. Besides, the house has been far too cluttered to even think about it.
I have lost count of the number of times I have blogged about my determination to lose clutter and have a good clear out, but actually, the house is currently a bit clearer. It isn't clear and it isn't really clean but it is a lot better. There is a really noticeable difference.
Yesterday, as I cast on the back for bear's slipover, I found myself watching 'how to decorate' videos on YouTube. B&Q have done a whole series. I suppose they found it worth while, and it helps them to sell products. I noticed that they had 'decorator scissors' not 'sharp scissors'. On the other hand I am sure there are people out there who would try and cut wall paper with nail scissors. In the right frame of mind I would be one of them.
I'm not saying I'm going to decorate. I am just saying it's a scary possibility after my confession of lack experience. But what could go that wrong? Besides, I don't want bear to grow up like me in a house where decorating never happens. On the other hand, it looks incredibly difficult.
I have also thought of a good plot line for an erotic novel and I'm a bit worried about that as well.