I Am Cold

Bear has decided that he can't live without the windows open and I am frozen. It's so desperate that I'm about to start ironing in self defence. At least the scent of Deirdre is coming in.

My hip is doing a lot better. I've no idea why it went bad and why it's got better, but there you are. My knee and back are still creaky, but at least I'm moving. 

The garden is so overgrown that there could be a lost tribe hidden in there.

I should try and get better pics. The clematis and white rose are glorious and in need of tying up. But it needs to be sorted out before any lost civilisation decides to expand and take over the local hairdresser. And I don't want to draw attention to any potential camomile dealers. I'm pretty sure that this is camomile.

But it planted itself without an input from me and I don't want to risk making a tea from it.

I've got so much I ought to be doing. Bear's new bed is getting delivered tomorrow and I'm confident that his room isn't ready to put an IKEA bed together. I'm not completely sure, though, as I haven't been in there for at least four years. Bear likes his privacy and I'm letting him. The bed could arrive at any time from 7am onwards, so I'll need an early night to get ready for the extremely early morning. 

I also need to sort out a corner in the kitchen as the boiler is getting serviced and I like to look as if there's at least some semblance of order. 

I also need to have a rummage through the cupboards and freezer. There are too many packets and tins that could do with either using up or donating, and I can barely shut the freezer door. 

And I keep thinking that it's Tuesday. I have no idea as it's Friday at time of typing. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Same Stuff, Different Day

It's a very boring post. DH continues not too bad, but I'm worried. Bear continues awesome. 

My late mother-in-law died on 27 May 2007. Last night I dreamt of her. We were shopping in Tesco, of all things. There were no crazy messages, just a nice time shopping. It's funny. There were times that we really didn't get on, and I could say all sorts. But she adored bear and, like so many humans, she did her best with the tools that she had. I need to go to Tesco and leave food in the foodbank box to remember her. 

I enjoyed the Sewing Bee, but it didn't really catch me.

It's been a very beige sort of day. I need to try and be more multicoloured tomorrow. It's disheartening to be posting the 'nothing much' posts. On the other hand, me being boring is much easier for the people I live with than me not being boring. 

Writing stuff - yesterday I posted the response to writing challenge number 22 here. It was awesome fun to write. 

I didn't have any pics, so I thought that I'd share this.

Photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash

Hugs and good health to all.

Bright Day

DH is doing okay and we went to feed the crows this morning. I think that they had missed us because they were almost mobbing the car when we pulled up and they were exceedingly happy to be fed. I suspect that there was more going on than just being fed. We saw some serious squabbling among the magpies, with a few actual scraps, which seemed more about who was in charge than the food. 

When we got home, I took a pic or two of the garden. Gladys is looking good but I NEED to get the poor thing free from the deadwood. I may have to take over from bear.

The white rose is flourishing.

Even the weeds are in blossom.

Our garden is maybe five yards by twenty yards - it's not big at all - but it is full of greenery and life. Even the creeping toadflax on the steps is flourishing.

And while our garden is bursting out, I'm still a little envious of the self seeded snapdragons outside next door's gate.

It's been quietly lovely. I've got quite a bit of knitting done as I watched the FA Cup Final and then Doctor Who, and it's been great to relax. DH has been a little busier as he sprayed out the scratches on the car. Bear has been busier still. He's off for a week now, but he's done a load of homework already and hopes to have finished the large swathe of homework that was supposed to occupy him all week by the end of tomorrow. Then he can focus on the more important things like hanging out with his friends and playing computer games. And also revising as the results he gets from tests in three weeks time are the results sent to the universities he applies to. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Tea

There have been wins and fails today. I've struggled with moving at times, but I've done a tiny bit of ironing and a little sorting out. I've managed to get a pic through the window of the passion flower that's been shamefully neglected and needs tying up to the trellis. I even had proper meals and made enough for left overs for tomorrow. 

Then DH was poorly and I spent a lot of time worrying. It's not up to me to share his woes, though, so I thought I'd share one of my wins. I drank some tea. 

I've been drinking far too much diet cola. It's easy, I greatly enjoy it, and it doesn't trigger any of my intolerances. Even better, I can have a bottle near me and not have to go up and down stairs to get to a kettle. However my impulse shopping had invested in some Aquarius tea from Bird & Blend and I made time to brew a cup. 

It's a loose leaf tea, which I like, and is mainly green tea with lemon and sparkles. 

When I opened the packet, I felt like I was punched on the nose by a very assertive lemon. I carefully brewed the tea for the suggested 3 minutes. 

I think that I'll do it slightly less time for the next brew as it was a little bitter for me, even though I'd added plenty of sweetener. I admit to staging the above photo to try and hide the state of the kitchen. I felt so grown up brewing a speciality tea, then I dropped the teapot lid into the cup as I poured and was back to my normal self.

But once I fished it out, I felt all sophisticated. 

Although a sophisticated drinker would probably have added less sweetener. 

I'm not sure about the sparkles. I saw a glimmer or two, but it mainly looked like sand. 

For me, the jury is still out. It was nice, but it felt very strong. I'll try again for a few drinks tomorrow but brew it weaker. 

Hugs and good health to all.

Another Ouch

Deirdre is doing well.

I took that from the bottom of the kitchen steps as I was definitely staying out of the rain! 

I also checked and I have a round dozen bottles of washing up liquid under the sink. This is not as bad as it sounds. Three of those are the cheap stuff that I use against aphids. The other nine (or eight and a half, really) are from the 'buy four for the price of three' event on cleaning products a few months back. I stocked up to keep me going until the next event, which I think may be in about two months time. Stocking up is good. I'm still well supplied with jars of pasta bake sauce that I got when it was '3 for 2' in the even that usually happens twice a year. I must have made an impression on the computer programme, though, as it keeps suggesting it when I'm checking out a delivery order. 

My hip has played up today and I shut my thumb in the door jamb. The combination left me out of sorts when I went to pick up bear, but it could be worse. I suspect it may cut down my knitting as my thumb is sore. Mind you, I got a lot of knitting done while watching Great British Sewing Bee. The difference between the first series and this one is crazy. I can't believe that the first series had 'alter the neckline of a t-shirt' and now it's 'make a different garment from a t-shirt'. I think that the first series was a lot more relateable. 

I'm still not confident with the sewing machine.

Hugs and good health to all. 

Trousers

I can't wear my jeans because my legs are too swollen to fit in the straight legged ones that I've got. In fact, they're too swollen to fit most styles of trousers. I've been wearing a skirt which I dug out from the very back of my wardrobe, and I was surprised that I had it - I don't like skirts. However my walking is considerably better if I wear trainers (sneakers) and I can't wear trainers and a skirt. I mean, in theory I could. I've seen people look pretty good in a trainer/skirt combination. But I can't. The thought of it makes me want to cry. 

It's funny, really. Over the decades, the rules I stuck to as a teen have gently eroded, but the no trainers with skirt is rigid. I bought some fancy (and extremely inexpensive) wide trousers. They're supposed to give a sort of skirt like appearance, like a nineteenth century governess riding across the moors in a divided skirt. They're not particularly comfortable, they are so like a long skirt that they trip me on the stairs and, because they're made of some cheap cotton-type fabric, I have extra sound effects whenever I walk. At least they have pockets. I'm considering my options - which won't include skirts!

I'm not managing to go far, but I'm walking a lot better and I'm cautiously optimistic. 

In other news, I dug out an old cookbook. It's probably older than bear but I thought it might be useful. 

It's got some interesting recipes in there, including one for Bobotie that I may try out, but it has some that I won't be suggesting to bear. For example, there's a recipe for Chicken Chow Mein. The main ingredient in the ingredient list is - a packet of chicken chow mein. I still remember the horror of my mother when I brought the list of ingredients for lemon meringue pie mix home for the cookery lesson. The ingredients included -  a boxed lemon meringue pie mix! 

I have to get better at walking soon. The garden is a complete disgrace. I think I'll see what basics I can manage then I'll have to talk to DH about getting people in to do some work. DH can't garden - even father couldn't catch his attention. His spirit is willing, but he can't seem to see the difference between plants and weeds. Bear is similar. I may be able to persuade bear to prune Gladys, but I never managed to teach him the difference between brambles and nettles so I'm reluctant to let him loose on the garden. I need to have a long think about how things can go on. If I can't do much then it needs to be low maintenance. 

But I'm not having plain concrete - not on your life!

Hugs and good health to all

Another Week Starts

It's been a quiet day. I'm trying to move more, but today hasn't been a win. 

I've been thinking about hygge. From my (probably limited) understanding, you have all the cosy in the winter, but summer needs to be outside and energetic. I haven't got energetic. But I really, really love snuggling down in autum and winter, and if I do that then I need to get the house fit for snuggles during the summer. 

I'm going to have to tackle the clothes heap in the dining room. There's a load of ironing but also a load of stuff to donate or possibly sell. It's sadly a big job that needs a lot of standing. There's all sorts of stuff that needs to be dealt with. I have some old towels that I plan to cut up. I bought one of those mops where you put a cleaning wipe over the head of the mop, but the refill wipes are £3.50 for 12! I plan to cut up the old, scratchy towels and use those dunked in soapy water and wrung out. That means that I have to cut up the towels to the correct size and then run a zigzag stitch around the edges to stop fraying. There is a lot of stuff like that - small tasks that will make things easier and won't take up much energy if I just start them. Then come winter, I can snuggle down and be comfortable. And I need to do the movement, so it's a win-win.

Writing stuff - I'm still lagging behind the writing prompts, but I'm up to Number 21 and you can find today's story here. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Looking Quite Good

I can't remember why I didn't post yesterday. I know that I spent quite some time setting things up to have an easy dinner for us that would generate the minimum of washing up. DH, bless him, made sandwiches for him and bear and I enjoyed my non-gluten sandwich and we ate from paper plates. 

I've also emptied a lot from the cupboard under the sink. Some of it I've ditched because it got splashed with drain cleaner and I just want rid. Other stuff is the result of me failing at housewifery. I have a theory that the better the housewife, the fewer the products. My cupboards were overstuffed! I've kept the washing up liquid and the liquid hand soap along with some bits that were on the windowsill and got rid of the rest. Some of them were extremely elderly. I'm going to restock baking soda, but I have big jugs of vinegar elsewhere and I plan to just replace what I use or buy for particular purposes. The kitchen spray I'm currently using is a cheap one from Tesco and I loathe the smell so I may try making my own. 

At least now I have enough space to store the kitchen cloths. That's even after I've put the washing up liquid and hand soap back. Mind you, there's only three bottles of the hand soap left. I'm finally getting to the end of the great hand soap bargain stockpile from 2018. I'll be using more bars going forward. 

I'll need to get some good disinfectant in as well, I think, or perhaps a good solution of vinegar and soapy water, to clean the windowsill where the plants are. I cut off some of the more heavily affected areas but I want to grow microgreens and coriander on those windowsills and I'd like to sort out this infestation first. 

Cleaning under the sink took quite a lot out of me, but I did it and I'm taking it as a win and as a chance to get moving. The plumber did an awesome job and replaced the plughole and all the bits attached without trying to upsell. This is a different plumber to the one who did the bathroom who I wouldn't allow back over my threshold. 

Today I was determind that it was going to be a knitting day. I did get some knitting done while watching Doctor Who, but as I was determined to only knit, I actually got quite a bit of writing done. It's nice to know that some things never change. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

I Saw a Doctor

The clinic, it turns out, doesn't do hips. A lovely doctor from the GPs office came out and we agreed that it wasn't cellulitis but fluid collecting in my legs causing pain. She has booked me in for a hip x-ray. I'm not looking forward to it. It's open ended, so I can go some time next week and hopefully sort out what's happening there.

In other news, I ordered some bud vases from Temu. They were expensive for me, at £23.67 but I think that they'll be worth it. I got them to put those bottle lights in so that I could put them in the darker corners like the book case. A few have already been stuffed with lights and taken elsewhere but this is the carton (I really need to be quicker off the mark)

The one already on the bookcase looks like this when the lights inside are on.

You can get the lights from eBay or Amazon. They are basically a small string of lights that are designed to go into a bottle and there is a battery and on/off switch in a 'cork'. The cork doesn't really fit in the bottle, but it's not something that bothers us. We can just enjoy the lights. The bud vases that we don't use like this can be stashed for other purposes. They wouldn't be bad as home made diffusers. 

The sink has broken. The plughole has completely given way. A plumber (not the ones that did the bathroom!) is coming out on Saturday. I feel that it may be the first pebble in the avalanche that means that we have to get a new kitchen. I am unimpressed by that idea.

It feels like a very full day.

Hugs and good health to all. 

Sorting Stuff Out

I had a very small grocery delivery this morning and afterwards I decided that the rest of my day needed to be spent sitting down. We also got a clock in the post. It's hung slightly crooked as it needs another nail, and please ignore the dust.

It's the perfect size. We had a clock that father brought with him, but it was going through a lot of batteries and it wasn't really us so I thought I'd invest in another. 

I'm trying to change the layout of my books and that means finding the original files. Not the original original files as I've changed computers twice since I wrote The Forgotten Village but the ones that are actually on Amazon. I couldn't find a dratted thing. I've been spending hours sorting stuff out and I keep finding weird stuff that I forgot - including the start of a really good murder mystery. 

Bear had a map reading exercise today. I've no idea how it went, but he didn't find his way home. Instead I'm picking him up from his pub quiz later. I hope that he had fun. I'm sure that I would have heard if there was a problem. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Tired

I've been so tired today that I can barely move! I'm hoping to get to the clinic tomorrow. If these keeps on, I'll have to hurry before I get better!

My opinion about modern art is that it's usually painted for other artists. It's often incredibly skilled or subtle, but it baffles me. The sort of art that I understand is this.

Image from WikiCommons and in the Public Domain

Or perhaps this.

Image from WikiCommons and in the Public Domain

And the new portrait of King Charles isn't traditional. I suspect that someone who speaks art could tell me a lot more about it than what is obvious to a philistine like me. It has a strange background and the colour bleeding over the uniform confuses me. But the expression shown on the king is something that calls to you. There is a story there, and that's how I define art - does it tell a story and does it make you feel? 

Writing stuff - speaking of stories, I'm catching up and the latest chapter is here. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

More Flowers

More flowers have appeared, this time on Gert.

But I think that there's also some bugs on the plant. I shall have to start looking up pests on house plants. They're just tiny black specks, but I have a bad feeling. 

I've also been knitting and the blanket is coming on wonderfully. It's 32 inches long (around 81cm) and I'm not even half way through the yarn. I had a quick check and it's around 52 inches wide (around 132cm give or take, I just measured on my lap) so it may be a proper sized blanket. As my hip is bad, I'm not taking many fancy pics, but I managed this.

I'm hoping I'll be able to get to the clinic tomorrow. 

Writing stuff - I'm catching up on the writing prompts and the response to Writing Prompt 19 is here. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Unexpected Flower

One of the scented geraniums has blossomed! I need to get them repotted quickly.

The model car is one that bear made back in... possibly 2019. He had just taken the entrance exam to Heckmondwike Grammar and we were worried he would be stressed so took him to pick a toy. He wasn't stressed, but he's still proud of that model.

I had a rummage in my room which is currently more of a heap than anything. If I want to get it sorted, the quickest way I can do that is to finish some projects. I was working on a blanket while catching up with Doctor Who with the men, but I think I need to work harder than that. 

DH made teriyaki fish with fancy rice noodles for dinner, which was delicious. It was followed by a chocolate and coconut dessert type thing which was amazingly tasty. 

And we missed the thunderstorms. I was watching a lightning map and the storm swung right past us. I was really disappointed as I love storms. 

Writing stuff - one of the things I'm currently working on is catching up with the writing prompts and you can read my response to Writing Prompt 18 here.

Hugs and good health to all. 

Still Warm

Poor bear runs warm and always has. When it's been cold and wet outside, he's been going to school in just a t-shirt. The latest warm weather does not suit him. We've got a fan going, which has helped, but I suspect that it's going to be a long summer for him. 

We went to feed the crows this morning. There was a lot of squabbling going on with the magpies - we were calling one of the bigger ones 'Scar-tail' because all the tail feathers were ragged. It was lovely and warm and there was a scent of hawthorn blossom on the breeze. I didn't get out of the car (I'm still a little careful about walking) but I took this pic out of the window.

The tree was just a mass of blossom!

I can't face the Eurovision for some reason this year. I'll pick up the highlights at some time I suppose. It just isn't calling to me. I'm tempted to try to go for a drive to see if there are any northern lights but I'm tired and it's a little cloudy so I may have to drive some distance. If it was for bear, I'd do it in a second. Instead I may see if I can find something on YouTube!

Hugs and good health to all. 

My Candle Has Teeth

I looked up and saw this...

It's supposed to be a standard Fox & Ivy Bay and Blackberry candle not Fangs for the Memory! To be honest, it looked a little spooky at first sight. Since then it's burned down further and sort of curled over. I'm considering putting it out and getting rid before it's a fire hazard. 

Speaking of unexpected, there is some self sown wheat in the garden.

Once again, I'll leave it to the birds. 

I like finding the unexpected.

Hugs and good health to all. 

Pleasantly Warm

I spent some time today wondering why I was warm. It's been cold and damp for so long that I'd forgotten that it was possible to take off a sweater. It was a pleasant 24C (75F) on the landing. 

I've got two scented geraniums. They're currently on the windowsill in the study but I need to relocated them if I'm going to grow coriander on there. Besides, our windowsills are narrow and the geraniums really need repotting into a bigger pot.

I'm calling them Gert and Daisy. Hopefully I'll get better pics soon.

It's been a lovely calm and quiet day. Long may it continue.

Keeping Moving

I've realised that I can move better earlier in the day and that I get stiffer and have more pain at night. This morning I drove to Tesco without much problems and picked up DH's boots from Timpsons there. I had a few moments, but my back seems to be doing a little better. I'm concentrating on standing a little straighter and being careful about putting cushions behind my back and it's definitely helping. My hip had a few moments but it wasn't too bad. I even had a very quick wander in Tesco. The Batley Tesco is massive so I still managed to record a respectable number of steps just picking up fruit for DH and some gluten free bread for me. I had a coupon for some Balance bread from Schar and it left me feeling queasy, but at least I didn't pay full price and I got my steps in. 

I got yet another grocery delivery. I feel like I'm getting a lot of groceries, but I can't wander around so much and when I was taking antibiotics, I wasn't really fit to drive as they made me extremely queasy. Today it was from Morrisons. I'm not a huge fan of Morrison's delivery, but the driver was a sweetheart and I picked up a few bits that I couldn't get delivered from Tesco. I'm trying to plot things to make it the most cost effective, but I think that I'm going to have to start tracking grocery spending to get a reality check. Everything is so expensive, and DH, bear and I all have different food needs. While I was out there talking with the driver, I took this.

It looks incredibly pretty for a woodland scene with bluebells, buttercups and some herb robert in there. It's pretty lame for a flower bed. Still, I enjoy seeing it and I'll get to it one day. 

Sharon talked about keeping cheerful. I'm not going to lie, there are times when I absolutely wallow in misery. However I've made a decision about what I put here. I'm sharing because it may be useful to others. When I post, I try and find a good side, a silver lining, and actively seek them out. I can be sunk in the deepest self pity but I have found that if I choose to look for the bright side to include here, it helps me feel better and brings up my mood. I always feel better if I can see a story and find the fun, even if I have to consciously look. And sometimes things really are that good - there is a lot of light in life. 

It was harder when I picked up bear tonight. Driving was fine, but getting in and out of the car was painful. I've also walked double the number of steps that I've managed over the last few weeks (though still a pitifully small number) so I think I'll rest tomorrow and then try for the walk in clinic on Friday. I'll be glad to get this sorted. 

Thank you for all the kind support. It means a great deal.

Hugs and good health to all. 

Better Today

Thank you for your kind words. Rather than individual replies, I'll just reply in a general way in the post. 

My GP is a few hundred yards away at most - far too close for a taxi to be willing to take me. I'm not comfortable driving there as the car park is evil and there are usually no spaces. I can't walk that far, so I don't go to the doctor. I have realised that this is ridiculous and I've been thinking about it. There's a walk in centre about five miles from here, and if I go at the right time there shouldn't be a problem with parking. It won't be tomorrow, though, as bear needs a lift. 

I've always thought that there was nothing really wrong. I was just unfit, or I needed to lose weight, or I was a bit creaky, or I needed a better diet. I've raised issues with the GP over the years but nothing's happened. However today was something of a crisis as I jarred my hip and I couldn't manage the stairs to the kitchen. I'm reading and re-reading the comments and I feel completely hugged and much better for them -  you are all awesome, including you, Dawn. I've ordered the pedal thingy that Kate suggested and I'm working out the logic of it all.  There are a lot of sensible resources on the internet and I just need to find them. I think I'll spend some time this weekend going through the resources from the NHS. 

Apart from the whole hip thing, today was pretty good. I got a delivery from Tesco which included some good groceries. The scent from our bluebells was heavenly.

I'd got quite a bit done earlier on and cleared out the fridge and went through some of the older cleaning stuff and got rid of what was elderly or not likely to be used. I hope to get more done tomorrow, hip permitting.

Writing stuff - I've spent some time today sorting out the books that were originally published by Three Furies Press and I'm hopefully going to get them self published on Amazon by the end of the month. I'll keep you posted. The problem could potentially be that Amazon think that I've stolen the content so I'll have make sure everything is in order to prove that I own the content. It may be tricky, but it's protecting authors so I shouldn't complain. If I'm doing that, I need to edit my website and update the back matter in the books already out there - the list of titles 'by the author' at the back of the book. I'll share when they're finally live. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

Somewhat Depressing

I won't blame anyone for not dipping into this as it's a little depressing and a lot self indulgent. But I thought I'd put down something that's been on my mind this week. 

I'm struggling to walk more than a few yards at the moment. I get muscle spasms in my back. This is not something new, as anyone who's followed will know. I've had all sorts of problems trying to walk around the park in Batley. It's just currently the worst that it's been. But I kept thinking that if I kept trying then I'd be able to go further. I loved walking as a kid and would wander for miles if I had a chance. So I told myself that it was because I was so inactive and I could try getting my energy levels up. 

Last week I thought about walking and a few memories triggered, of me struggling to get places over the years. So I thought back. Perhaps it went back to when I was carrying bear and my legs became incredibly swollen? No, there were issues before that. How about around twenty years ago and I had awful continuous pains in my legs? Eventually they faded without ever working out what had caused that. But there were memories from earlier, when I had struggled on guided walks back in the 1990s. My ability to walk has been eroding over time and I hadn't noticed. Now I'm at a crisis level.

I have two thoughts. The first one is that I need to do things that will strengthen my legs, get me healthier and get me more active. I'm absolutely not putting anything down about that as we all know that as soon as I say that I'm going to do x then x will never happen and I'll head straight to y. This may be limited. The cellulitis that I was struggling with isn't entirely gone, but it's much better and I was struggling with the antibiotics. I can't get to a doctor for them to have a look and make a judgement call and I don't know whether I need more antibiotics or not. 

The second point is that I have to on one level accept that I'm now effectively cut out from anything that needs walking. I can't wander around Kirkstall Abbey to get pictures. I've wanted to visit Lawnswood Cemetary for a while which is now out, and there's a fashion exhibition at Lotherton Hall that I'm likely to never see. It worries me a great deal. I'm struggling with stairs and there are times when I have thought that I may not make it up the stairs from the kitchen. I wish that I knew what to do. We can't move - the landlord has run down the local houses so much that we couldn't sell and get enough to buy elsewhere, especially as DH and I are both heading towards 60. 

There are ways of getting around, but here's an old picture of our front steps. 

I can maybe get a walking stick up and down there, but not much else. 

So I've been thinking instead of posting, and I think that I've got a lot more thinking to do. But perhaps there are more bright sides. After all, this is perhaps one of the bigger wake up calls to get my act together. And I can get grocery deliveries, Amazon and eBay (who is my friend). And the Euros are coming up so I plan to watch football and knit for around a fortnight straight, possibly longer if I commit to Wimbledon. Bear is doing fine and DH has enjoyed cooking this weekend with not only Moroccan beef but also Thai basil chicken (I may have heartburn now but I'd never tell him). And I'm well aware that there are people far worse off than me. 

I'm posting this because sometimes you need to 'say' stuff out loud, but also so you know why my blog is likely to fill up with stuff like me saying - great achievement because I walked to the end of the street! I hope I'll find something more entertaining to add, but I'll see how things go. 

I'm now relaxing to the sound of the rain and I'm finding it incredibly soothing.

Hugs and good health to all.