So yesterday evening I was doing my best not to fall apart. Bear needs a slightly more upbeat mum. I don't want him to fret too much. And that is the only way I can explain why I have £20 worth of ammonites coming in this direction.
It just seemed to happen. One minute I was tootling gently over mumsnet and spider solitaire, the next minute I was on ebay and happening. On one level I could do without spending the £20, I could really do without spending the £20, but why ammonites? I was sort of wandering around the general area of rocks as bear continues rock mad. However why did I look at the ammonites? I mean, why?
I think I need to get a bit more of a grip on my sanity. Also, where do you put £20 of ammonites? At least they don't need a litter tray.
I found this picture on Wiki Commons, and it seemed kind of appropriate
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It's taken by Andre de Saint Paul and the link to the entry is here.
I think I will try and go for something else to divert myself into. Something that doesn't involve spending money. Something that doesn't involve random items being delivered by long suffering postmen. I'll update if I find it - and I hope I find it soon!
Failing parents do make you sad. Walking with someone who is making their final journey can be a very sad business (and hopeful, and joyful and funny and downright hard and miserable at time.) Bear doesn't need you to be upbeat all the time. If you're sad and unable to do everything he wants at the time that he wants it then he doesn't need you to hide everything, he's eight and can understand, he's not a baby. He needs to know that you're sad and that's ok. There are times people are unhappy but it doesn't last for ever. He doesn't have to do anything about it except understand. You can still be his mother and he can still be a child. It might be useful for you to take a look at the Cruse Bereavement Care and the Child Bereavement Charity websites and see what they have by way of materials to do with preparing yourself and your family to say goodbye to loved ones. The material is out there and it is helpful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, that is something I needed to hear. I will look at those websites. Father may go soon or not for a long time, but it is good for me to be prepared. x
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