Didn't Get Out

I couldn't get out today.  I really needed to pick some stuff up, but I couldn't do it. 

I don't know what it is.  I don't think it's 'proper' agoraphobia, but I couldn't get past the door.  My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe.  If I do get out then I'm fine.  It's just getting over the threshold.  It's worrying me a lot, because at the moment I can do anything for bear, but today would have indirectly benefited bear and it didn't happen.  I need to be able to do things for bear. 

I'm hoping that I can get out again on Monday to the supermarket.  Wean - I stash my shopping bags on the ledge underneath the supermarket trolley and I'm hoping that I can either do that with the shopping trolley or leave it behind one of the tills. 

On the bright side, I cleared a corner in the kitchen.  It may not sound much, but I had been chucking the treats I bought for bear and his pals in that corner for a few weeks and now I have sorted it all out I can say with confidence that I don't need to buy treats for a little while.  Mind you, I think it depends.  Bear isn't too bad.  He does have days when he aims to eat his own bodyweight in sugar but he's not too much of a locust.  On the other hand, get a pack of pre-teen boys in the house and it's like chocolate biscuits evaporate!  They are good lads, though, and they also devour citrus, apples, bananas, etc etc.  It's normal.  I'm just trying to make sure bear eats mainly good stuff.  The school did the height/weight check and bear is almost bang on average height and in the lower quarter of the ideal weight range for his height.  I'm going to have to feed him up with the good stuff. 

Bless - it's funny about superstitions.  My late mother in law couldn't bear shoes to be on the table because she said that it would cause an argument.  It usually did if DH was around as he gets cross with superstitions. 

The taxi I got home yesterday had a peacock's feather on the dashboard, and my mother would never have got into the taxi with that.  She thought they were desperately unlucky.  I suppose it was a little unlucky as he went on and on and on and on about how he had spent £70 in Morrisons and only had two bags of stuff.  I assumed it was a microwave in one bag and three bottles of whiskey in the other.  They are not as cheap as Aldi, but they're not that bad.  He was a good driver, though, so I don't think I'll worry about the feather. 

I'll add a picture of a black cat, which is either lucky or unlucky, depending on where you are.

Image from WikiCommons, painted by Jahn Henne and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

As an aside, I had a quick google for Jahn Henne and I can't find anything, but that picture is amazing