Friday, 12 May 2017

Being a Mum

Bear brought home a consent form for sex education.

Bear squirmed as I signed the form.  What was worse, I insisted on telling him that he could always ask me or his dad anything because things that were said in the playground were often rubbish.  If he was confused he should check with us.  I told him that humans were strange creatures and when it came to sex there were all sorts of odd things around, not all of them healthy, and it was okay to ask us stuff.  I thought bear was going to pass out from embarrassment and I think I used up three years' ration of cringe in one short conversation.

As a ten year old, bear is absolutely mortified that his mother might know about sex.  I admit that I thought it was funny to see his horror at the conversation, but I tried to make it safe.  I would rather he could come to me or DH and ask us about the stuff that is out there, and while I might have to look stuff up, I'd rather he asked me than get lost and caught up in something he regretted.

Things have changed so much since I was his age.  I had my only, very sketchy sex ed lesson in the days before AIDS.  Now there is AIDS, drug resistant syphilis, drug resistant gonorrhoea and all sorts of other nasties that I've hardly heard of in my rather sheltered experience.  When I was ten I barely knew about the magazines that were on the top shelf of the newsagent.  Nowadays I would be very surprised if at least some of bear's classmates had not had an encounter with porn by the time they leave primary school.

I think the school is in a good place to give non judgemental and sensible information.  I'm happy for them to teach these lessons, no matter how appalled bear is that I actually read the form and I know that he will be hearing about sex.  Now I just need to navigate the best way to let bear know that it's okay to talk to me and DH if he needs to.  Also, I need to make sure bear doesn't realise how sweet he is when he's mortified.

9 comments:

  1. My niece teaches 3rd. grade. She says most of her class could teach a sex ed. class and she is shocked most days by what they know at such a young age. She has broken up fights between her 3rd. grade girls over a boy. Makes my head spin and be thankful our son is 43. Best of luck in the coming years with Bear and his ventures into life lessons.

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    1. It's scary! Fortunately bear's school is quite strict, but I'm pretty sure while bear didn't realise, there was a BIG fight about a boyfriend between girls in bear's class - he was nine! WS x

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  2. Oh dear I did chuckle at "three years' ration of cringe". I too, had this conversation with my now 40-year old son,- many, many moons ago.
    In my day, sex education in primary school was none existent. At senior school it was skimmed over in science classes ( the reproductive system in rabbits!!). The only thing I clearly remember is that " you can't get venereal disease from sitting on a toilet seat"......... Whatttttt, is that all about ??? As you can guess my teenage years were spent avoiding toilet seats. X


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    1. You made me chuckle! Hopefully bear will be okay asking if there's anything he doesn't understand. I swear it's harder than I was young. I'm actually grateful he's getting these lessons as I think he would disappear in a puff of mortification if I tried to cover the details. WS x

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    2. Kathy this made me LOL! I remember that talk in high school. I was more afraid of the stern looking nurse *I was in high school back when our health workers/nurses still wore those little hats* than I was about the disease she was telling us about that you couldn't catch from the toilet. haha. She also warned us to not lie to our parents if we happen to catch the disease because she would come out and tell them the truth. Those were the days.

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  3. Lol. You made me laugh! I could almost see Bear squirming. Boys that age are so funny. I don't remember a lot about our sex ed lessons - they seemed so mechanical and not a lot of use. My Mum's only advice to me was 'make sure he uses a condom. I'm not having a baby in the house'.

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    1. I can't remember much about mine, either. My mother wasn't really equipped to help, either, so I had a lot of fun finding stuff out lol! WS x

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  4. Poor bear! I'm sure he'll get over his embarrassment, eventually!

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    1. He's still mortified, as he checked that he had the permission slip in his book bag and completely cringed as he did so! I'm not allowed to ask him about anything lol WS x

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