Pausing

Thank you so much for all the kind messages.  They are really helping me, and I really appreciate them.  I feel very blessed and supported.  I feel lucky.  

I still feel in the centre of a whirlwind, but I suppose that is normal.  I just made the lady at the funeral parlour laugh like a drain talking about eBay being my friend.  I cried a lot more in the few days before than I am now, but it changes.  I will just feel how I feel.  It is what I have told bear to do, and I am taking my own advice.

I have decided to start clearing father's stuff, as any momentoes will be needed to be handed on at the funeral as people will come from a distance and I won't be seeing them for ages.  To get to the memories I have to get through a lot of rubbish.  He kept every service sheet he ever had from the Methodist church, literally hundreds. Thank goodness when I was last on Approved Food I accidentally went crazy on black bin bags.

Apart from chasing the death certificate and registering father as passed, I am doing no admin now until next week.  I will worry about that later.  Now I am worrying about other relatives in hospital, cuddling bear and generally trying to get the house fit for people visiting.  Also DH.  He needs a lot of cuddles.

There are still bright sides.  I was remembering father's face when I told the really lovely lady at the funeral parlour about the time I got 20 handbags for a very reasonable price and I couldn't physically lift the parcel.  I could imagine father's expression when I was asked whether I wanted to have a set of silver fingerprints kept from him.  Even the rain means that I don't have to water the garden.  There is always a bright side.