Still moving almost forward

I have found today difficult.  I don't believe that there is much wrong with the mole that a little steroid cream won't sort out.  However I am also getting checked out for breast cancer.  I don't think I have that either, but I got an appointment for next week.  I am getting close to breaking with the appointments.

I am okay if you don't believe that I am getting two things checked out.  I am not sure I would believe it if I read it on a blog.  However I put whatever's on my mind in this blog - a sort of 'I see it so I say it' type thing, so I will be talking about any appointments.  I hope you can still visit even if you don't believe it. 

Bear went to the dentist today and needed a filling.  Bear was awesome and so was the dentist.  The hardest part was bear got soooooo hungry and stressed afterwards and decided he only wanted to eat stuff that I didn't have in the house.  I could have cried.  Bear went to the shop and got what he needed, which included a pre-made sandwich and a pepperami but no sweets, and afterwards apologised for being grumpy.  He is such a darling.  I think he is also going to be more aware about tooth care now.

DH came home from work still tense from driving and still very sore.  Poor lad is going through it and the painkillers are wrecking his stomach.  I'm trying to make a fuss of him.  However tonight I had to belt out for another driving lesson.

My driving instructor is awesome.  I mean, truly, truly, amazingly awesome.  I had just about reached the end of my rope by the time I got into the car and said I couldn't cope with much.  He took me on the hardest route around Heckmondwike and I loved it.  It was a really odd driving lesson.  There always seemed to be something.  There were the cyclists who reached the busy roundabout at the same time as me.  There were a great number than usual of cars pulling out in front of me from side streets without checking.  My driving instructor took me around all the worst junctions in the area, all the awkward bends, nasty crossroads and evil access points. I spent a large part of the lesson edging out of roads to try and get a view, only to have speeding cars go walloping past way over the speed limit.  The worst wasn't when a motorcyclist ran a red light and cut across me.  I had that under control.  The worst was when a completely different motorcyclist tried to overtake me on the left as I was moving left after a junction and whizzed past at speed.  There was literally only an inch or two in it, and I felt a little unnerved after that.  My instructor, who was giving me a challenging lesson to try and take my mind off things, said it was the craziest lesson he had had in years.  He said that we had seen a lot of seriously bad driving, there had been some desperately scary stuff and none of it had been my fault.  I know it was an insane evening of driving and I think any experienced driver would have blinked at everything happening tonight, but I loved it.  I loved the challenge of the awkward junctions, I loved working on the difficult bends and I think I was born to drive.  My instructor (did I mention he was awesome) kept me safe and told me what to do, and I had a blast.  I can't wait to have another go.

I felt really positive and as if I had recovered when I walked into the house - when I walked into bear having a meltdown about the book he has to read before school starts. 

Something else of interest.  Bear loved the scrubby I had knitted.  I forgot to take a picture of the one he used, but it looked something like this before I sewed in the ends and sent it up with bear for a long bath...

but afterwards it looked more like this...

Bear approved, regardless, and as it's the 100% cotton stuff I can wash and wash and wash it.  However I will stick to squares in future. 

More Optimistic

I have a working washing machine and I have just had a driving lesson - no casualties.  I made some mistakes, but it could have been a lot worse. 

DH went into work today.  I was worried, but he made it in.  He struggled with pain and he had to drive home past the scene of the accident.  He said that the central reservation where he crashed looked a complete mess.  I just have so much respect for him.  He had no way of avoiding the crash, and so he can't feel in control of the risks.  He still pushed through and drove into work. 

Bear is being very bear.  We had a chill day and ordered his school trousers from M&S.  I measured bear, because I knew what I was up against.  His waist is @ 60cm or 24 inches which is the waist measurement for age 8-9.  His inside leg is @ 66cm, or apparently appropriate for his age of 11 (it makes him slightly tall for his age as M&S have strange ideas about trouser length).  Fortunately, M&S do versions of trousers that are long, longer and extra long so I've managed to get some that should fit him.  My brother was exactly the same all the way through High School so I knew where to start looking.  Bear isn't underweight.  He's on the slim side, but his ribs are well covered and he seems healthy enough.  He fills out nicely in the run up to a growth spurt, so the extra long 9-10 trousers should be fine and he will need new trousers after a growth spurt anyway.  Also, the new school are apparently generous with their dinner portions so he may fill out a little more. 

I got my appointment through to check out the iffy mole.  I just feel broken at the thought of all the extra appointments on top of everything else.  I'm feeling pretty confident that it is nothing, though, and hopefully one appointment next Wednesday will sort it out. 

It may sound strange, but the thought of extra appointments is putting me over the edge.  I need to concentrate on the bright side.  Today there were no casualties on the driving lesson and I got back to knitting now it's not so hot.  Things could be a lot worse.

Drink Has Been Taken Again

I had my first driving lesson since I failed my driving test.  No casualties.  I did okay.  My lovely and awesome driving instructor is talking about entering me into a test again soon.  I feel a little overwhelmed.  However I remembered where third gear was, dealt with awkward situations and totally rocked some right turns.  I had forgotten very little and I only stalled once.  I effectively started to learn to drive on 9 July with this instructor.  I had had some tuition before, but it had been a fail.  I took my test and failed on 14 August (nearly passed), I had no lessons between 14 August and 28 August, almost 50% of the time I had been learning.  And I still was okay to drive.  I was still safer than quite a few drivers I saw on the road.  I'm feeling good about it.

I'm going to try and persuade DH to have some time with my awesome driving instructor.  I am so worried about DH.  He took today off but is going in tomorrow.  Fortunately he has an awesome boss, but I am so worried.  He has at least forty-five minutes drive each way on roads which have lots of challenges and which include the junction where the accident took place.  I know he is awesome, but I worry.  I will be praying a lot tomorrow.

I had a phone call this morning from the dentist.  I've been trying to get bear registered at a particular dentist for a while.  The appointment has been changed at least three times already.  I told the caller that I would cry if it was changed again, so poor bear has to wait until Thursday when, if all things had been equal, he would have been seen last week.  

Thursday was the day of the washing machine repair so I rang up to change it and after a looooong time on hold, the lovely person from Whirlpool managed to get me a slot earlier today instead.  I was incredibly grateful.  Apparently the thermostat needed replacing and I now have a functional washing machine again.

My life is getting odd at the moment.  It is quite unbelievable, so I am not posting more about it.  When I post about my life, I post the absolute truth.  It's sort of 'see it, say it'.  However, at the moment, it's more odd than normal so I'm trying to be sensible (despite drink being taken), and I hope you will not mind if the story I am posting is incomplete.  However, this is why drink has been taken.  

I hope to be back tomorrow in a more positive frame of mind.

Lovely and Quiet

Nothing happened today.  Not a sausage.  Nothing at all worth writing about.  It was wonderful!

DH is doing okay.  The massive painkillers are working so that he can more or less move and he has pottered around with bear.  Bear hung out with his pal and practised the piano.  The novelty has not yet worn off so he has been working hard at it and he is really doing well.  Long may it continue. 

Barb from Canada - thank you for your ideas.  I am scarily good at an impulse buy online and my track record in 'real' shops is very poor indeed.  I shall use your ideas and keep all crossed.  I'm glad things are getting better there and the air is getting clearer.  I've been worried. 

Thank you for all the good wishes.  They are so much appreciated.  I am now going to bed before anything can happen.

Finding the bright side

Thank you for all the kind thoughts and wishes.  They made a very positive difference and were really appreciated. 

Today has been finding the bright side.  My sister in law visited with her husband and were duly impressed by bear.  The new piano seems to encourage bear to practice.  I think it's the novelty.  However bear rattled off Fur Elise in grand style and was generally awesome.  My sister in law was her usual generous self and bear came away with a lot of goodies!  She is out for all she can give and bear benefits!

DH drove today for the first time since the accident.  He said he found it tough, but he managed and that is such a big step.  I am incredibly proud of him for facing that fear.  He came back with the jacket he had planned to buy the day of the accident, and he looks gorgeous in it.

The pork and apple burgers we had for dinner tonight were awesome.  I sincerely recommend Aldi's gourmet burgers - especially if you cook them using a grill or rack.  That comes with its own issues.  You see, after bear finally gets back to school (nine days and counting) I plan on either walking to Aldi daily and/or picking up food daily during the school run once I've passed my driving test.  At the moment I find myself over-ordering and stuff is going to waste.  I do have worries, though.  I can't resist impulse buys and I need to learn.  Yesterday I came home with two throws that I absolutely did not need in the slightest.  I also brought home a lot of extra treats.  We have a lot of treats in already but I fell for it.  I can't wait to see what impulse buys I pick up. 

And the best of the bright sides - tomorrow I am going to totally, finally and completely clear out my kitchen.  I am going to get the walk in cupboard cleared, make spaces for everything and throw out everything that is not regularly in use.  This is because I will go insane if I don't get my kitchen sorted out and also because I need to make a decent space when the repair man comes because the washing machine has broken again.  So I am going to end up with a cleared kitchen and a lot of writing done because I'll need about 5,000 words written to give me the energy to sort out the mess!  So the washing machine breaking down again is a total win and the engineer will be out Thursday. 

Drink Has Been Taken

First of all, please, please, please let me know if anything that shouldn't have been posted has slipped through.  But thank you for all your amazing comments.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate them and the time you take to make them, and I am very grateful for the advice.  You lot are inspirational. 

DH is doing well.  He is on massive painkillers and so can move almost normally.  He has the real deal whiplash and all his body is affected.  Any movement can cause pain.  But it is likely to fade and he is being really positive.

I don't know if I have mentioned it, in my self absorbed state, but we have new neighbours.  They seem lovely.  The wife was taken away in an ambulance today.  I am praying for her. 

Drink has been taken.  I am finding life tough.  I shouldn't.  I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboards and I know I should be grateful.  I am blessed.  I know that many people reading this have a far harder row to hoe.  I'm working on pulling myself together and looking on the bright side.  As I said, the wife next door was taken away in an ambulance.  I need to count my blessings.

Well, it's Friday

Barb from Canada - I didn't get a message from you yesterday.  I'm glad to hear that there's rain and that you are safe, despite all the smoke.  I have been worried.

DH can barely move, but is doing okay.  Bear has been subdued but a new piano and an afternoon spent playing with the kids next door have helped. The flash courtesy car from the insurance company looks completely out of place in our street.  Thank you for all the amazing kind wishes.  DH doesn't want to to be identified and he put a pic of the car on his Facebook, so I can't share, but the back half of the car is basically shredded and hanging off.  The rear left hand wheel has been bent horizontal.  It's a mess.  I can find a bright side.  Our car was diesel and now we can get a petrol model, but it's a somewhat tarnished bright side.

I promise to sort out the comments soon, but I want to be absolutely meticulous in not letting anything through that shouldn't go through.  Those who want to get a newsletter once I've worked out how to do them must show enthusiastic consent and say so explicitly.  No enthusiastic consent, no newsletter, and I'm sure it's a relief to many. 

I have had a fail today, but I managed to get the latest instalment from the White Hart up (here) and now I am crawling off to bed, but not without showing the awesome pic I used from Pixnio.  It is so atmospheric.