Concentration

I don't have that much concentration these days, partly because I have less chances to develop it than you would think.

For example, I love my cross stitch.  I started with this...

I am quite enjoying it, but I don't get that many chances.  Last night I realised that I had got one of the strands of the mane really, really wrong.  I also realised that it was the night that father saw that I was cross stitching and randomly handed me pictures of the Isle of Wight.  They were lovely pictures, but I should have been realistic and put away my cross stitch.  I was enjoying it, though!  And he never even said, 'Do you want to see some pictures?'  I just got them handed to me mid stitch.  Sigh.  

I have never even tried to stitch around bear, who is now at the advanced age of seven and still quite keen on mum's attention being on him.  I can live with that.  In a few years I will be lucky to get a grunt out of him. 

So now I have a badly stitched quarter done cross stitch.  It would be extremely difficult to unpick and it would definitely leave a mark on the fabric.  The hoarder in me says I should save it, work around it, see what happens.  I am finding it less than fun and while it might be worth while saving the pattern for later, I can't see how writing off the £7.50 for the fabric and bit of thread I have used will hurt - and I would be without the clutter.  This is important.  I have got rid of around 20 kilos of clothing, rags and misc textiles to various places over the last fortnight and there is a good chance I will be able to do the same again by the end of the month.  I don't want to keep stuff.

That's the problem with being a hoarder.  It is a different way of looking at the world, I swear.  I can hear a little voice in my head saying, 'but you could trim the fabric from where the stitching was and use it for bookmarks.'

This is not a bad idea.  There are loads of free bookmark patterns around, I have plenty of threads from old projects and it wouldn't be much effort.  Except I hardly ever do anything these days except from kits, I don't want to add more stuff on the 'to do' list, and I don't want another dead weight of an 'ought' that I have failed to do to hang around my neck.  I 'ought' to avoid waste and use up trimmings, but I end up with a huge pile of stuff that 'might come in useful' and a feeling of failure every time I see them because I haven't used them up.  And I don't have that much time to use them up because I am still trying to spend enough time on my writing (epic fail so far this month).  

I have just broken off and on my Google calendar I have added a date six months away.  I am going to trim down the fabric and keep the chart, throwing away the stuff done in error.  If I haven't done the bookmarks in six months I am either donating or throwing away the fabric.  That has lead to a great feeling of relief. 

I think I'll dig out one of my half done sweaters for when father is around.  That is a lot easier to do without too much concentration.