Back to Normal

Uncle has had a fall in the care home.  I am bewildered as uncle much prefers to call people to do stuff for him so what he was doing falling instead of sitting and shouting is a mystery.  He got checked out at A&E and is okay.

I worry that, unconsciously, staff at homes don't check on people so much if they don't have many visitors.  My health is now in a state where I can finally visit him.  I am going to find it incredibly tough.  Just the phone calls I used to take before he went into care could wreck me for a day.

I have to visit.  He was a real rock when I was little and things were complicated.  I'm going to find it hard.  It will only take about an hour out of my day, but I am so disorganised that I will miss that hour.  I will also find it mentally incredibly tough, though that is no reason to avoid visits either.

I feel incredibly guilty that I wish I didn't have to do it.   Deep down I am glad that I still have the chance to visit my uncle.  I just know it's going to be another long slog.  I need to remember what the alternative is.