I'm going through something of a doldrums at the moment. I am under pressure to clear the house for the urgent rewire (epic fail) and also to finish a novel (also epic fail). And I rather foolishly decided to try and post something spooky on my writing blog every day in October, which I have more or less managed (apart from the days that have writing challenges), but has added a certain something to the stress.
I think this is reflected in the driving, because I don't seem to have any confidence at all. I drive through a lot of narrow, double parked places on the school run and it isn't helping. I am flinching at some of the gaps I'm squeezing through, although normally I just get on with it. I think I will say, the heck with it, and try and go somewhere on Saturday. I know there's an artists exhibition and generally wonderful event happening in Trawden (near Colne, between Burnley and Keighley), link here https://www.facebook.com/events/405244687086583/ -
K J Sutcliffe will be exhibiting there (Kate, your stuff is exquisite!) and I was thinking about trying to get there. The trouble is, while I am less frightened of narrow country roads over the Pennines than I should be, it would be very hard to avoid Bradford. Bradford is scary. In fact, it's notorious. However, come Saturday, regardless of the weather, I'm going to do something.
Bear is doing his best impression of a wounded soldier at the brink of collapse every time I ask him to do anything. He has food tech tomorrow. I have to provide him with the ingredients for bolognese sauce. The total flavourings are 5g of mixed herbs, a twist of black pepper and a clove of garlic for a pound of mince. There is no worcestershire sauce, no hint of extra basil, and it all seems very inadequate to me. I usually go for the Italian herbs or pizza seasoning, with a lot of extra oregano and I certainly don't put a scant teaspoon of the stuff in. He's cooking it first thing, and while it's apparently kept chilled, I have little faith in this and I think I will get bear to recreate the dish rather than actually eat it tomorrow.
Writing stuff - A new story from me on my blog, in response to the Writing Challenge, which is here. And Timothy Bateson has a book spotlight on The Ghosts of Lock Tower by Jack Massa.
Hugs to all.
You could always take a cool bag and ice pack in the car to transfer it to if it transpires it has been kept chilled - and add extra seasoning when reheating.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you are under pressure -hope it passes soon. I wish we were down home to see the exhibiton - looks really good. x
I'm sorry you are going through a bit of the doldrums, lately. Hope it gets better, in the near future. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteits that time of year chuck , im a great believer in sitting in carparks having a good snivel , then you stuff everything in its bag go home and pretend everythings fine , the season of mists always gets me down.
ReplyDeleteI've never commented on this blog before but I do enjoy reading of your adventures, trials and triumphs. It seems to me like you're putting too much pressure on yourself by setting your own deadlines and then not keeping them and feeling bad about yourself because of things you are pressurising yourself to do. You keep talking about the things you've failed at; but let me tell you, you haven't failed if people don't like a meal. All kids change their minds about what they like from day to day as far as I can tell, and you go into it trying to please your son so badly. It's not like you deliberately choose things you know will challenge him or he doesn't like. You do your absolute best for him, so stop all this talk about 'epic fails' at the dinner table. If people are really hungry they will eat. And none of us will die from skipping dinner.
ReplyDeleteAlso while you may feel that creativity helps you, it doesn't seem to if you use it to put more pressure on yourself. You don't need to write something everyday, or write a novel now. You may like the idea, but it's not helping you feel better about yourself if you're stressing about not meeting your writing goals as well. Writing will still be there in a week, a month, a year. Having been in a similar mental space and floundered around doing nothing effectively while beating myself up for my inability to live up to my self imposed standards, I would say concentrate on one concrete thing. Pick one thing and when you accomplish it you'll feel better. Perhaps start small with driving on Saturday while you're not stressing about all the other things you feel you need to have accomplished; you might find it a lot easier that way. And there is nothing wrong with taking the easy option - maybe there's a more circuitous route you can take that avoids the busy areas. I have trouble walking so I go strange routes with fewer hills and odd shortcuts to get to my destination. Maybe try putting a few 'vias' into a routefinder application and see what comes up. Then perhaps move onto clearing the house, dividing it into sections, one corner, one cupboard, even one draw at a time, planning what you need to accomplish that in little parts - a couple of storage containers, a visit to the tip, more bin bags. I know it sounds stupid but micro projects can be helpful when your mind's in turmoil and everything seems too much. I hope you find your equilibrium soon.
You do great at your driving! You've inspired me to try to get out more and take on driving things I wouldn't normally do. Some of the roads there are crazy! At least here the roads are wide, but drivers seem to go crazily fast even in bad weather. I think sometimes it's not my driving I'm worried about - but other drivers!
ReplyDeleteTry not to be so hard on yourself!