You are all awesome. I've had some lovely comments and I really appreciate the support and suggestions. It's made me step back and have a long look at how I am.
I am not in a good place. I suspect clinical depression. I don't feel sad, particularly, but as I am writing this, my brain feels like it is mired in treacle, and you would not credit the typos I make before I correct everything. It isn't working very well at all. I've been here before and it feels like I am shutting down. I've had issues with this clinical depression all of my adult life, and have been hospitalised in the past, so I am a little irritated that it has sneaked up on me. So I need to take control, once and for all, and tackle sleep, diet, and exercise. I'll probably witter on about them as I go on, but it will be a long haul and I think I have to take it a teaspoon at a time.
I also think that I need to boost my writing. I always feel better after writing, and I have worked out that with 1000 words a day I can keep a decent home. I need a little more than that at the moment, as I need to get to a place where I am maintaining. Besides, I earned £6.96 from my writing this month and I haven't published since 2016. I just need to get moving.
I'm not sure how much sense I'm making. Bear has just explained his computer programming to me, and I feel like I've been repeatedly hit over the head with the baffling stick. He has also left his bolognese sauce at school. I sincerely hope that he remembers it tomorrow. Otherwise I dread to think what the state of my good dish will be when it possibly walks home by itself. If he forgets it tomorrow, he is off until 4th November.
Bear has been ticking a lot of 'teenage' boxes lately. He may be only twelve but he has just rediscovered spray deodorant and going into his room in the morning is like a chemical attack. He also left it until he was going into his 'overdraft' on his school lunch account, found he was 'overdrawn' when he tried to get a breakfast snack this morning (he had cereal at home, btw), and I ended up cancelling the plans to go to Dewsbury Market and instead went home to top up his account before his break.
Writing stuff - Today I have a story set in Kirkstall Abbey, a ruined medieval abbey within ten minutes of a city centre, here. Timothy Bateson has another book spotlight here,
Hugs to all.
Sending you hugs. I'm struggling. I think a lot of it - for me - might be menopause or pre-menopause. I always seem to be listening and trying to help others, but don't share my issues. Sometimes I just think that other people have it worse and I should just be okay with things being as they are.
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