Sunday 1 October 2017

Before the Internet

I didn't have a perfect childhood.  I honestly believe that both parents did their best but they were only human.  Sometimes I talk about my childhood and DH is frankly shocked.  It has affected my attitude to the internet.  When I was young, there could be me, my mother and two brothers in the house and all of us reading in separate rooms.  We were never really a unit.  So I don't see going on the internet in separate rooms as very different.

Today was like one of my best childhood memories.  When I was very little I would sometimes stay overnight with my gran and grandad.  They had an open fire and in the dark evenings we would all be sitting together in the living room.  Grandad would be reading and gran would be knitting and reading (my gran was an amazing, dedicated and high speed knitter that churned out a complicated sweater or cardigan roughly every week) while I read or watched the fire which made the only sound along with gran's knitting needles.  There was no conversation but it was wonderfully calming and quiet with a sense of companionship. 

This afternoon we were all in the study on our electronic devices, but we weren't cut off from each other.  We had a woodwick candle flickering and it felt cosy and loving.  Bear was stuffing his face with fruit and was apparently 90% leg, dh and I shared the occasional tidbit from the internet and encouraged bear in his game or browsing, and it felt safe.  I suppose it was our version of hyyge.

I'm not too worried about bear and his pal.  They sometimes play together on the computer, sometimes play separate games while talking rubbish at each other in the usual way of young lads, but they play enough football that I have a serious challenge getting all the mud out of the clothes bear was wearing yesterday.  I let them manage their own time when it comes to hanging out. 

We make a point of keeping Sunday afternoons locked down to 'family time'.  It's when we make sure that we're still in touch, that we know what's going on and relax together.  We sometimes dig out boardgames or watch films together but often it's just us doing our own thing in a shared space and feeling happy with each other.  Today I had to break off to take the soup to the Church but I came straight back and settled in. 

Jake's a Girl - may you come back victorious from the sale!  And well done on the score at the sale yesterday!


  1. I hear you on the childhood and i'll raise you one. ;)Family time is important. You don't have to be involved in the same things or chatting like magpies every minute to each other to make it count. Just knowing you're there for each other is the key. To know parents are close so if a child reaches out and they can connect is precious to that child. Like holding safety in their hearts. I read a lot when my son was young. He once said that he was playing in the floor with his cars and looked up to see me sitting in my usual spot reading. He said, I almost cried knowing you were there and that all I had to do was say Mom and you would stop everything to see what I needed. Yep. I should have spent more time in the floor playing cars but at least he wasn't damaged much by the fact I didn't. :) I see more and more parents and children being sucked down by social media. On phones, tablets and every thing in-between and forgetting to talk to each other. Sad.
    Hey! I'm ready for my sale. Been through the sale papers and have my list. Will see when I get there if what I'm after is more want than need. Will bring home the need and leave the want...I hope. It will be a miracle. haha.

  2. Very often, when my daughter was growing up and living at home, the only time we spent talking were the first 15 or 20 minutes in the car as I drove her home from school. After that, she'd fall asleep! Once we were home, we'd spend an hour or so together in the same room, but each doing her own thing. Then, she'd go to her room to do her homework for the next 5 hours or so that it took her. Sometimes, I'd go to her room to spend time with her and fall asleep on her bed! :)