Friday 26 August 2022

Ups and Downs

Bless - it was hilarious! I thought about the homemade laundry detergents you see online, and I was thinking that the borax usually added would possibly cut down on the foam. I now treat with extreme caution and stick to mainly Ariel, like my mother and grandmother.

Jane - I shall have to remember that. Though I don't use laundry detergent as such, but white vinegar. I'm sure that would have worked just as well. At least I got a cleaner floor and a good story out of it.

Eileen - the schools get a kickback from the uniform shops and no doubt are looking to raise funds. Here is the price label on bear's blazer.

He's not particularly tall, and there's more meat on a butcher's pencil, so it's not outsized. It's still £65. And the nearest high school that isn't a grammar has a boys blazer in exactly the same size for £31.99 - just under half of the price. What is worse, the blazer for bear's school is brown. The school is insistent that the blazer is a a particular brand from this particular shop. When I was a kid, you could pick up a blazer elsewhere and just buy a sew on patch from the school. Mind you, our blazers were black and easy to come by. It's almost impossible to get a brown blazer (I checked last year when it looked like we may not be able to get one) but a man's blazer from Matalan in black would set you back £33 and probably wear better. The quality of this blazer is awful and the fabric is dreadfully stiff.

To the lovely commenter who said that they could imagine me wading through the foam - I did! It was like an old fashioned comedy film - and so funny. 

So - ups and downs. On the day before yesterday I was laughing about the washing machine and admiring the bathroom. It's pretty much done. I'd considered getting a picture or similar for decoration, but I'm enjoying the minimalist look. We have a new mirror (stick on acrylic panel), and a toilet roll holder that sticks to the side of the vanity. 

Yesterday I had a panic attack while driving. I thought I was going to pass out and I couldn't find anywhere safe to pull over. I was terrified. For at least ten minutes, I was holding it together just enough to drive, but I was in a very bad state indeed. I was struggling to breathe and at one point my vision started to get blurry, though fortunately only for a few seconds. I don't know what to do. I can't get in that state when I'm driving bear, and it isn't fair on other road users. The road was pretty quiet at the time, so there weren't many other drivers around, so it could have been worse. However, if this starts happening regularly in the future, it isn't safe for me to drive.

I went out today for a short drive, and I was fine. As far as I can see, the panic attack was nothing to do with driving but with other health stuff going on. It just hit when I was in the car. There was a lot going on yesterday, so I think that I got ambushed. 

I don't want to be a hazard on the roads, and I don't want to endanger bear. This is the first time that anything like this has happened, so I'm not ruling out driving, but I can't do this as a regular thing. I can't have panic attacks while driving. I don't know what to do. I'm going to do some more practice runs when the roads are very quiet.

I should really try and get the GP to sort out the dermatitis, but I'm not sure that I have the mental strength, especially not at the end of the school holidays. Perhaps I should speak to them about this panic attack. I don't have much faith in them about this, though, and it feels silly taking up their time on this. Of course, it could also be a sign of the change. I'm getting a few hot flushes which are quite unexpected. 

I think I need to start by cutting down on caffeine and taking up some meditation. Wish me luck.

Also here is a thread which, if you scroll down, is a record of the notes left at a hotel about soap. It is one of the funniest things I have ever read. It's good to remember the fun stuff.

Hugs and good health to all.


  1. Panic attacks are not fun. I'd say the best thing to do if you experience another while driving would be to pull to a side, off the road, and do some deep breathing until, hopefully, the attack is over. If you need to be somewhere on time to pick up bear, or for an appointment, call and leave a message, if you can, that you will be late. I can highly recommend meditation and slowing down. (((Hugs)))

  2. I was the anonymous person yesterday about wading through the foam - I didn't notice the drop down box where I can choose to comment as me. I once had panic attacks, always in shops, my lovely psycotherapist said that rushing out as I did each time led me to think that it was being in the shops that was causing the panics and that I had to rush out for the panic to end - in fact he said I could do anything even dance a jig on the spot and that would ease the panic because the action would make me feel calmer. For me it was getting out of the shop that let me relax and the panic would cease. His words stuck with me and in fact during a panic all you have to do is remain still and calm try to breathe slowly but not too deeply so you don't end up feeling 'heady' and the panic will naturally subside. Eventually they will disappear altogether when the fear of them is removed. When you suddenly have a panic you often then associate the panic with whatever you are doing or wherever you are and so it becomes natural to avoid doing these things as you believe it will avoid another attack and it becomes like a self fuelling fear. My daughter had an attack once in her car and has not been able to drive on the motorways for years but has now regained her confidence. Panic attacks can be very debilitating but they are really an expression of too much stress in your life and it has nowhere to go. Try some form of stress relief like meditation or relaxation. Sending lots of hugs xx

  3. Sending hugs your way. That had to have been very scary. I hope things get better. The price for that school uniform is outrageous. Yikes. I hope it lasts him the year and he doesn't outgrow it.

  4. The soap story is funny! I see from the comments afterwards that it may be from a comedy routine, but it still made me laugh. I don't use the mini soaps etc in hotels (not that we stay in many) if I can help it - they seem so wasteful, as I never finish them - not there long enough - and I imagine they are just thrown away.

  5. Panic attacks are so scary. I’m having random attacks now which might or might not be related to my diabetes. I really sympathise. My washing machine died today. It refused to agitate then flashed error 43 at me. I was impressed as wasn’t sure my old machine was capable of issuing codes. Anyway my default go to with washing machines is to check the pump filter. First I couldn’t get it out without spraying copious amounts of WD 40. Then, when it came out, a huge chunk of metal came with it. I discovered it was 10 years which is nothing short of a miracle in our hard water area. Stressed out looking for a new one and asked mam to choose one for me. She’s 84 and has better sense than me. She did so and for once I just said “right that one” instead of googling for days looking for deals. Got delivery tomorrow. Bank holiday Sunday for an extra £10 so can finally wash the bedding. Lol. X