Thursday, 30 November 2023
There May Have Been a Snowflake
Wednesday, 29 November 2023
I Failed the Eye Test
Tuesday, 28 November 2023
Small Things Continue
I managed a few bits today, but I have that big appointment tomorrow and my eyes are sore. I think I'll be picking up again properly on Thursday, depending on how things go. I'll share how well I do.
I actually managed to speak to my doctor's office about how I'm getting anxious and they've given me some numbers for counselling. I'm having a think.
Anyone who reads this will know how silly I'm being. If I was reading someone else writing this, I would sympathetically and kindly tell them that they're being an idiot. But I can't help feeling that I just ought to pull myself together. Rationally, I know that's not how it works. I'm just not being very rational - and that bugs me more than anything else!
I refuse to feel too 'doom and gloom' about it. I'm going to go away and write some nonsense. It's not likely to ever see the light of day, but I plan to write something silly and playful and ridiculous and have it held in my mind when I'm going through the procedures.
I meant to take a pic of Gladys today when I managed my few paces outside the house, but it was too dark, so here is a pic from Unsplash, taken by Alec D
And that's the attitude I'm taking to my writing.
Hugs and good health to all.
Monday, 27 November 2023
Not the Start that I Wanted
Saturday, 25 November 2023
Mainly Knitting
Friday, 24 November 2023
It's Getting Cold
Thursday, 23 November 2023
A Bit Draughty
Wednesday, 22 November 2023
I Can Just...
Nothing much happened today. I tootled up to the Co-op where they have a post office and posted a returned shirt that I picked up for bear. I misread the sizes on the eBay listing and I suspect that bear also had a growth spurt so it looked like he was wearing a kid's shirt from primary school. It was hilarious - he got it more or less over his shoulders but the arms didn't go much past his elbows.
Trousers may start to be a problem. Standard sizes fit me and DH, but I noticed that the cargo pants he picked up for himself from, I think, Primark are a little bit high over the ankle. It's not obvious - he wears black trousers, black socks and black trainers - but they're looking a little short. It could be because they've been in the tumble dryer, but I have a suspicion that he may need to get the longer lengths now.
There are worse problems to have.
I was looking at the stats again and apparently, over the last week, there were five hits on a post from 2017 (probably from bots) where I had ironed some of the packing paper from Amazon and there was a link to a fancy floor made with the stuff. And I was thinking about using the idea in the porch - and I could still do it. I'm currently using squares of packing paper that's hanging up near the bin to scrape out mucky pans and tins, and I'm always getting stuff in the post. But I have said 'I'm going to...' so many times and it's never happened. I'm so fed up with myself for doing this.
Currently I'm trying to be careful about not doing this anymore. I've been thinking about how to try and force myself or coax myself or fool myself into getting more structure, but it's something of a fail at the moment.
This is incredibly depressing, so I thought that I'd share this pic of a kitten. It's from Unsplash, taken by Loan and has cheered me up considerably.
It looks so cute.If I ever get around to it, and if the printer manages to copy something this delicate, I'll let you know.
Tuesday, 21 November 2023
Exceedingly Dull
I haven't posted because absolutely nothing much has been happening. I feel a little guilty. I'm quite achey and my joints are playing up, so I haven't done much at all.
To anyone who's been blogging a while, I suggest that you have a look at some of the stuff in your 'stats' list. I found one from 2018 where I had been fretting over sending bear into school with his stuff for cookery classes. Tonight he successfully made himself a portion of frozen prawns with creamy pesto sauce from Aldi, so at least he can follow instructions on a packet.
I remember tearing my hair out trying to get things like eggs into school, as he was on the bus on those days. Now I just worry about what time he'll get home after school stuff. Tonight there was a fancy lecture about <something something something physics> Yesterday he was late because there was <something something something karate>
In the spirit of looking back, and because I have nothing better to offer, here are some pics from the past.
That is a pic from November 2021 of a robin, which turned out unexpectedly well. I've got rid of the tyres now, but there is still a robin lurking around.
Hugs and good health to all.
Saturday, 18 November 2023
My Eyes are Doing Fine
When I went back this morning, my eyes were a lot better. Last night I was told that the pressure in eyes is normally 10-20 (of whatever, not sure). Last night my eyes were 24 and 28, which was a little concerning. Glaucoma, with permanent damage to the nerves in the eye is around 60. Today my eyes were in the 'acceptable' range.
Full disclosure - I had a little panicky moment when they were checking, but it went from 'this may be a cause for concern' to 'this is not urgent and we can just monitor' as there is something that could cause problems - I can't remember the name of it but there's an opening in the eye that is a little narrow in my case. So some time in the next two weeks I will trundle along and get treatment where they put a hole in my iris to allow them to get a good pic of the back of the eye.
I felt a little frazzled afterwards so I went to look at the Beckett Street Cemetery afterwards. I only had a little look because my back hurt, there were a lot of leaves and the paths weren't clear. It was opened in 1845 and there were a lot of interesting gravestones. However there had been storm damage and I saw a lot of graves looking jumbled and displaced with a large tree trunk on top of them.
I took a few pics.
I shall have to go again when it's easy to walk around.
Hugs and good health to all.
Friday, 17 November 2023
Today has been 'Interesting'
Thursday, 16 November 2023
A Bargain May Have Happened.
I've finally finished the dratted antibiotics and I'm feeling somewhat hammered by them. However I managed to leave the house and headed towards Tesco. Unfortunately my back has been playing up so I barely managed a brief stagger around, but I picked up a thick flannel shirt for bear. Tesco own brand clothes are currently 25% off and I had a £3 off coupon on top of that so I paid something like £11.50 on a thick, black, plain flannel shirt in bear's size that was originally £19.50. I may go back early tomorrow and see if there are any other bargains to be had.
Then I stopped for a quick knit and was visited by a crow. I'm a little worried that it was hungry. I was certainly unimpressed by me.
It even tapped on the windscreen a couple of times and was very disapproving when I tapped back. I didn't have any food to give it. I may look at getting some suet pellets if I go back. Normally I would leave peanuts for crows, but there are a lot of dog walkers around and a lot of really lovely woofers. I don't want to risk them.
Hugs and good health to all.
Tuesday, 14 November 2023
Blogs are Weird
I need to tidy this blog up (again) as I've just realised that there are links to books I've written that aren't currently available. I've deleted the links but I'll need to have a rummage soonish.
I found this because out of curiosity I checked the stats. I rarely check the stats here as this is for friends and I'm happy for anyone or everyone or perhaps even no-one to check as it's where I sort out my thoughts and a sort of diary combined with a wailing wall. And it turns out that over the last 7 days there were eleven hits on the post from 4th April 2014 where I spent £180 on whiskey over two days (here). I have no idea why that would suddenly get so many hits. Perhaps it's bots, or people with unfortunate results to searches, but everyone is welcome.
It was back in the days when father was with us and he could go through two or three bottles of whiskey a week. I'd seen a good deal and I had gone for it with gusto. I think it more less lasted until June, but I can't remember the details. If I remember rightly, I would save something like £3 per bottle and I got 18 bottles. It's so long ago and things are so different. Bear was tiny, although still crazy good at school. DH was still stuck with his long commute. Father was being father and causing his own brand of genial havoc. Looking back, I was not in a good place mentally. I never felt that I had a steady footing but I was always on the back foot. I was trying to cope with uncle being poorly and keeping up with, well, everything. I don't think that I did very well.
If I remember, the whisky lasted until around June 2014 and then father was taken to hospital in July 2014 and never came home. He died a year later. Back in that moment in April I was trying to work out ways of keeping some control over my life. Not long after that I found out that I had gluten issues and developed eczema so bad that I needed dressings changed at the GP surgery.
I just had a skim through some of the posts at that time. When I read between the lines, I wasn't doing very well at all. I think I'm finally finding my footing now that I'm not dealing with serial crises, but I'm so adrift that I don't know how to start with getting going. I may have to seriously, actually, really do some planning now that I'm off the antibiotics.
And I got out of the house today for a very brief trip to Aldi with an excuse that we needed some fruit. The car park was full of evidence of the high winds around here, although we had been fortunately unaffected.
I wish I'd taken better pics. The car park was covered with leaves and branches. I did manage to snag a pic of the local tom cat who had been hanging around in our garden.
The poor old man is looking stiff in his back legs. I first saw him years ago and wish I had taken him in, but evil cat was still with us and would never have tolerated him. Now he is very much an outdoor cat. I may try and get some good treats into him.
Hugs and good health to all.
Very Dull
The only thing around here that's exciting is the weather. I had a quick look at last year's pics as I hadn't taken any recently and I found this one of Gladys from last November.
I think she may have been cut back a little, but she was a lot thinner. I'm sure that cutting her right back has been a benefit. This is the last full pic of Gladys on my phone.
I think that I'll make a point of pruning her when the frost hits and she loses her flowers. The growth is a lot thicker.
I spent a lot of the weekend relaxing. Bear was out on Friday night at an apparently awesome party, then he was out Saturday night to see the lights switched on at Cleckheaton. Of course I was happy to run him around but last night I dreamt that bear had got a Saturday job at Whitby, which is two hours each way, and I thought that was a step too far for lifts.
Bear was late home as he stayed on to try a Karate taster lesson put on by the school. I remember how unenthusiastic he was about Taekwondo when he was little, but Karate may suit him better. He has been so much better with his joints and (I think) Karate doesn't require kicks which would cause havoc with his iffy knee. He seemed to have enjoyed it regardless.
I've hardly anything ready for Christmas this year. It seems to have crept up on me. Bear is getting driving lessons, plus a few bits here and there. He doesn't need much. As usual, I've no idea what to get DH. I'm putting in my usual request for candles as I love candles.
Writing stuff - the latest chapter of Invitation Accepted is here. I hope to catch up with a few other things in the next few days and I'll share what I can.
Hugs and good health to all.
Friday, 10 November 2023
Feeling Better
I went to the shop today, driving all the way to Tesco. I still forgot a few bits, but at least I managed it.
I also took some pics. The other honeysuckle is still flowering.
Gladys is not the only fuchsia going on.
Gladys may not carry on much longer, though, as it looked like it could be chilly when I dropped bear off. He persuaded me to let him stay over at a party. As it's people he's known for years, I said yes, but I'm worrying. At least worrying about whether I could see frost on the road gave me something else to worry about.
I'm feeling a lot better but incredibly tired. I'm off to bed and hopefully I won't be required to drive to rescue bear at daft o'clock.
Hugs and good health to all.
Wednesday, 8 November 2023
Bathroom Continues
It's over a year now and the end to the bathroom saga may be in sight. DH and I were worried about the walls, but it turned out that should be an easy fix. However the entire floor needs replacing. They'll have to take everything out, lay new flooring and then put everything back in again.
Sigh.
I'm starting to get back into the land of the living, so that is also a good thing.
Hugs and good health to all.
Monday, 6 November 2023
Oxtail Soup with Added Milk and Sugar
Sunday, 5 November 2023
Things May Be Forgotten
I got a text today from Tesco to remind me of the delivery coming tomorrow. I don't remember booking the delivery. I never forget these sorts of things. I've also forgot salad for DH and pasties for bear. I almost never forget anything for them. It's like information is landing on the surface of my mind and then just skidding off sideways. This is a little worrying.
When I was twenty, I lost all my short term memory. I could remember my name and stuff, but I couldn't remember whether I had switched on the kettle. I couldn't remember if I'd eaten or not. Due to the way memory works, I don't have many insights into that time, but the ones I have are quite nervewracking.
Now I'm starting to feel a little like that. I suspect that it's the whole infection plus massive antibiotics and possibly a shortage of sleep. It may just be lack of practice at thinking. Tomorrow is going to have to be a day of sitting down, working out how to manage the thinking and remembering and sorting out priorities.
I don't have a pic from today, but this is one I took back in 2018. I was still struggling to get out but I managed to get to Roundhay Park and took this.
I need to get out more and get healthier and fitter for bear's sake. He needs me to be able to do things that I currently can't. Last week I missed a GP check up because I couldn't get out. But I managed to get to them about the cellulitis because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to give bear lifts.
Tomorrow is going to have to include some heavy duty thinking.
At least I won't have to worry about bear getting to school. There's been a last minute hitch with some bits so bear won't be going into school until Friday. Until then, he'll be doing remote learning. Of course, I'll have to try and remember to feed him, but he's pretty good at sorting that out by himself now.
Writing stuff - I wrote a short story about need-fire here for Hazardous to Your Sanity. I also want to do some hard thinking about writing. Today I wondered if I was scattering my efforts too much. I'll come back with any developments, but things are likely to change.
Hugs and good health to all.
Saturday, 4 November 2023
A Little Tired
Bear got the bus out to the firework display tonight but needed a lift home. I said it was no problem, and I was happy to give a friend a lift as well.
So I was driving at night, in drizzle, on unfamiliar roads to pick up bear. I'd much rather do that than worry about him hanging around in this weather, but it was still a little nervewracking. I've scraped or dinked something (not really my fault) and according to Google Maps I drove 44 miles and for an hour and 52 minutes. This may or may not include the time when I lost signal when I was relying on my phone for directions. I drove there, picked up the lads and drove back without much break.
And now I'm going to collapse into bed. Hugs and good health to all.
Friday, 3 November 2023
Bear Is Sensible
Bear met up with his friends today. They had a wander in Leeds and then went back to a friend's house. Bear texted me to ask if it was okay if he was late. I remembered what I was like at that age and said that it was okay but not too late and that I didn't want to be out much past midnight. Bear asked to be picked up at 8.30pm. I think that we've established that bear is the sensible one in the house.
He's lined me up for a few lifts over the next week or so, but I don't mind. It gets me out of the house and I'd rather he had a social life.
Speaking of sensible - here is the crow light that DH and I fell for.
We splashed out on a 'smart bulb' so it changes colour and can be switched on and off remotely. As it's an LED bulb, it should last for a while, and it makes us happy.
There were some fireworks in the street earlier. I'm not a huge fan these days, and I'm a little wary about the possibility of fireworks being thrown at cars. I don't think that it happens as much these days, partly because fireworks are so expensive. And I got lost as it was a new pick up point and I ended up caught in a maze of side streets.
Next door but one had their fireworks tonight. Bear and DH are quite adamant that they are having theirs, possibly on Monday, depending on bear's social life. I am concerned about the local pets, but I don't suppose our small contribution will make much difference. And as father always did the fireworks, it is also something of a reminder of him.
Hugs and good health to all.
Thursday, 2 November 2023
I May Actually Be Poorly
I forgot to pick up salad for DH and pasties for bear. I never forget all that stuff. I'm really mindful of the things the men need. But I forgot the salad and the pasties. My mind is currently just about blank. I'm not thinking like I should. I'm not in pain, I just feel like I'm not quite with it.
This morning I found my handbag in the car where I had left it overnight. I took this pic.
This is Gladys in her glory. The flowers, once they got going, have been rampant. You may notice that there are no ripe fruits in the pic. It's not for lack of pollination. Rather, the sparrows have been stuffing their beaks as soon as they're available.
And that's one reason that I'm not ready to clear out the garden before spring. There must have been a dozen sparrows on and around the bird feeder this afternoon. The seeds had been almost completely cleared and I think that rules out raids by squirrels. My tiny garden is a resource. In the past I've complained about how many flies there are, but there are a lot like hover flies and bumble bees and not just miscellaneous buzzing things. I know we had a toad once, but I haven't seen anything like that for a while.
I suppose I should dispose of the gravestones soon, but I kind of like the look of them.
Now is probably a good time to catch up with some knitting.
Hugs and good health to all.