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Tuesday 14 November 2023

Blogs are Weird

I need to tidy this blog up (again) as I've just realised that there are links to books I've written that aren't currently available. I've deleted the links but I'll need to have a rummage soonish.

I found this because out of curiosity I checked the stats. I rarely check the stats here as this is for friends and I'm happy for anyone or everyone or perhaps even no-one to check as it's where I sort out my thoughts and a sort of diary combined with a wailing wall. And it turns out that over the last 7 days there were eleven hits on the post from 4th April 2014 where I spent £180 on whiskey over two days (here). I have no idea why that would suddenly get so many hits. Perhaps it's bots, or people with unfortunate results to searches, but everyone is welcome. 

It was back in the days when father was with us and he could go through two or three bottles of whiskey a week. I'd seen a good deal and I had gone for it with gusto. I think it more less lasted until June, but I can't remember the details. If I remember rightly, I would save something like £3 per bottle and I got 18 bottles. It's so long ago and things are so different. Bear was tiny, although still crazy good at school. DH was still stuck with his long commute. Father was being father and causing his own brand of genial havoc. Looking back, I was not in a good place mentally. I never felt that I had a steady footing but I was always on the back foot. I was trying to cope with uncle being poorly and keeping up with, well, everything. I don't think that I did very well. 

If I remember, the whisky lasted until around June 2014 and then father was taken to hospital in July 2014 and never came home. He died a year later. Back in that moment in April I was trying to work out ways of keeping some control over my life. Not long after that I found out that I had gluten issues and developed eczema so bad that I needed dressings changed at the GP surgery. 

I just had a skim through some of the posts at that time. When I read between the lines, I wasn't doing very well at all. I think I'm finally finding my footing now that I'm not dealing with serial crises, but I'm so adrift that I don't know how to start with getting going. I may have to seriously, actually, really do some planning now that I'm off the antibiotics. 

And I got out of the house today for a very brief trip to Aldi with an excuse that we needed some fruit. The car park was full of evidence of the high winds around here, although we had been fortunately unaffected. 


I wish I'd taken better pics. The car park was covered with leaves and branches. I did manage to snag a pic of the local tom cat who had been hanging around in our garden.


The poor old man is looking stiff in his back legs. I first saw him years ago and wish I had taken him in, but evil cat was still with us and would never have tolerated him. Now he is very much an outdoor cat. I may try and get some good treats into him. 

Hugs and good health to all. 

6 comments:

  1. It's interesting to look back on some of the earlier posts in our blogs, isn't it? Hindsight and all that. :)

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    1. I think it's fascinating. On one hand it's a wonderful insight into the way my thoughts and life has developed. On the other hand, it's a record of my continuing battles and some fails as well as successes. I should do it more often.

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  2. I think you took good photos! I love the purple car and the leaves. Most of the leaves here are off the trees now. It's been quite windy lately.

    Like you, my blog is sort of a diary. I look at stats sometimes and a couple of months ago the numbers went crazy. Not sure what it was lol. It's not like I have an interesting life.

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    1. Your life is a mosaic and you have had quite the light and shade over the last few years. Also you take the most amazing pics.
      Thank you for the comment about the photo. That is really a big deal coming from you. I respect your pictures so much.

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  3. It’s Mary…A bit of a rambling response amalgamating several of your posts. Sorry…

    Re your dad and other things happening at the same time…I think when we are in crisis and have so much to do, we inevitably lose our bearings.

    It’s easy to see in retrospect, but at the time we just muddle through. I think most of us are like that.

    Sorry about your excema. As a baby I was bandaged up because of it. Then it went away and came back through my teens. Never as bad as yours - but so itchy.
    I was given betnovate which like all steroids thins the skin.

    I hope that as you feel more in control it will improve. And you are in in control whether you think so or not - you achieve so much.

    Poor cat… 4 cats are a handful here, but it’s good we have a tiny house and not unlimited money or goodness knows how many we would end up with!

    Bear learning to drive… he has so many skills and I know how proud you both are of him. xx

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    1. It is always so lovely to 'see' you. I feel hugged. Thank you.

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