Thursday 20 November 2014


I shouldn't grumble, I get quite good sleep on the whole, but last night was not impressive.  I kept sitting up half awake wondering why I wasn't in the bathroom or why Scottish Power had cut the energy to the Space Station while I was trying to talk to all these Klingons.  Yes, I have those sort of dreams and when I have disturbed sleep I remember more of them.  I suspect last night was because I got cold.

I am considering moving in to father's room.  It is warmer, quieter and more convenient for bear when bear has a nightmare at 4.40am (night before last - he now wants a dream catcher).  It seems wrong, though.  I don't want to feel like father is being pushed out.  If he did come home he would have to come back into the study, and it isn't looking likely.  All the logical and practical reasons say I should move in there.  I'm thinking about it.  He hasn't been in there since 20 July so I'm not rushing.  It seems so final though.  It also feels like I'm making a fuss over nothing.

One thing that is really dissuading me is that I am scared of father's bed.  It has one of those motor things which lifts and shunts and moves - I have too much imagination.  Bear is fully behind me sleeping there, though.  In his view it makes sense for me to be close at hand should he want me in the middle of the night, especially with all these recent nightmares.  He is very clear that a dream catcher will make all the difference.  As I consider them a complete waste and, while not wanting to be disrespectful to Native Americans, I find them a symptom of sloppy thinking.  Hopefully bear will grow out of it.

I really need to consider this when I have had more sleep.

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