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Monday, 24 August 2020

Happy Birthday Father

 Fifitr - I love the idea of getting out of lessons to 'hunt the car'. It sounds like a great excuse to spend time with an awesome aunt.

I've been thinking about your post about your mother getting lost, and it sort of reminded me of how my father was, and how perhaps we inherit more than eye colour. My mother's family had a lot of seaman, and her grandfather was a Master Seaman, or Captain of a merchant ship. His brother ran whisky to America during prohibition. Most of them had a good sense of direction. Father did too, but I think I inherited his attitude. Unless I am late for something, I don't worry about gettting lost. I usually treat it as a great way to find new places. Looking back, that's exactly how father treated any problems about directions. I have a suspicion that I drive a little like him.

When I was little, before a series of strokes and the drink hit, father was an excellent driver. He drove very smoothly. You never really felt the gears change, it was all very calm. He usually drove right up to the speed limit (and as long as it's 40mph or lower, so do I) or somewhat faster (I don't speed - too scared), but I never remember him being rattled or impatient if there was a queue or a hold up. If he was on familiar roads he could belt along at ridiculous speeds, especially as he never had performance cars. The car I remember most was one he bought for £25 back in the eighties and he drove it all over North Wales, the Lake District, the Yorkshire Dales (once - we broke down), down to the Cotswolds and all over Scotland. It was only a little Triumph, but it loved the long runs, just as Red does (she grumbles and stutters if I just nip to the Co-op). 

Looking back, I suspect that father wasn't too bothered about where we went, as long as it was an interesting drive. It was the days before a lot of the motorways, so it was mainly A roads at best. I would happily sit there, enjoying the incredible scenery as he enjoyed the challenge of driving on stupidly awkward roads with gaps in the stone walls where previous drivers had failed to make the bends. I admit to terror at the thought of dual carriageways and motorways, but I've driven along tight country roads which some drivers avoid and I've been fine. I found some images of the sort of roads we used, all of which I would approach with caution but with far more confidence than I would approach a motorway.

Road_from_Pentredwr_to_the_top_of_the_Horseshoe_Pass_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1587587.jpg ‎and I remember father driving along it when I was younger. If I remember correctly, this is not long after a shallow (in summer) ford. Sheep wander across the road and there are passing places where you have to edge towards if another car comes the other way. And below is a favourite place, the Horseshoe Pass, though I think the pic is misleading as I remember a white line down the middle of the road. I remember being on a coach trip with father and the family and the coach broke down at the top of the pass and the poor driver ended up walking all the way to Llangollen to get to a phone box (before the days of mobile phones) but getting a lift on the way back. Lots of people were stressing and complaining but father just took my brother up the hill a little for some father and son time and just relaxed and enjoyed the spectacular scenery.



It's the sort of road I would approach with care, but I'd prefer that (especially in decent weather) than the local bypass. I'm not saying I would be great, but I wouldn't be quite as bad as some of the ones I've passed on the local roads.

Father drove to have a drive, which is exactly what I do sometimes. I mean, we went to all sorts of parks and castles and museums, but he enjoyed the driving, and if we ended up somewhere unexpected, then that was okay, we could still have an adventure. And for some reason I don't stress in queues unless I'm late for something, because the stress doesn't help. Besides, like father, I'm usually happy to take an out-of-the-way back road to get away from the jams. 

He would have been 89 today and would have driven us scatty through lockdown. I still miss him. I'm planning to go to Tesco tomorrow and I'll leave some sweeties in the foodbank box. Father was a complete soft touch for kids and always took pockets full of sweeties to church (to the despair of those who had to sweep up the wrappers).

Writing stuff - this week's writiing challenge is here.

Hugs and good health to all. 

2 comments:

  1. Happy birthday to your father; he sounds like someone who took things in stride and made the best of a situation. I like the idea of adding some sweeties to the foodbank box in his memory. :)

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  2. I very much enjoyed your trip down memory lane; it used to be all windy little roads practically everywhere when I was a kid. I remember holidays in Snowdonia going round hair-raising bends and edging past other cars, weaving down village streets and dreading meeting a bus on a harepin turn. Like your father, my mother took it all in her stride, and I've also inherited that laid-back attitude. I used to get regular bollockings at work for being late but with a London commute that took in two buses and two trains there was so much potential for hold ups beyond my control. I never wore a watch so I never stressed about how late I was going to be. As I told my employer, who had a bit of a bee in his bonnet about punctuality, if I had a meeting first thing I'd start out an hour early to make sure I was on time, but on other days it was in the lap of the gods and a a case of 'What do you expect me to do, get out and push the train?' I think you've got the right attitude to adventures on four wheels. Stress over things you can't change does nobody any good.
    Leaving sweets in the foodbank is a lovely idea. There's always lots of chocolate and cake at Christmas but most other times treats seem to be thin on the ground. Something fun in a carrier of savers tins and packets must make having to use a food bank that bit more acceptable. I'll remember that when I do my next foodbank shop - I rarely remember to buy things on a regular basis because I don't buy most of the types of food they ask for so I don't get the prompt of putting some in my basket for myself. Instead, every few weeks I do a shop for the local foodbanks and dog shelter. I'm finding I buy more and more stuff in bulk from other sources too - we're lucky enough to have a service that delivers staples in recyclable packaging. I try but fail to resist Subscribe and Save on Amazon, too, but at least those orders tend to come in one package rather than individually in huge boxes full of paper!

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