Thursday 17 February 2022

Absolutely Terrified

Cherie - it's really appreciated.

Bless - So far so good.

Sharon - I have likened sharing creative stuff to going out without a your skin on. Every nerve is exposed. It's incredibly tough to put yourself out there. For me, it's weirdly okay now. Something that has helped is that I publish as Lyssa Medana. That's not my name. Lyssa is almost me but not quite. What you read on here or my writing blog is true, but there are bits of me and my life that don't belong to Lyssa and stay just me. It keeps a distinction and a sort of buffer zone. Your pictures are beautiful. I always look forward to seeing them. There is a lovely clarity. Perhaps if you wanted to put your amazing pics forward, you could use a nom de plume (or nom d'image) where you can still stay true to who you are, but you keep some of you safe behind the shield. Or you can keep them to the blog, or share them with friends, or whatever you need to do. I'm glad that I've seen your pics. 

Eileen - thank you! I'm keeping everything crossed.

I went to In and Out Garage near us. I may go there again. They have a lovely warm waiting area with coffee and comfy chairs. I wasn't sure I was going to make the less than two miles journey. I could feel the engine complaining. But they were amazing and when I explained that I could really do with the car for the sake of my car, they pushed it through extra quick. I was hanging around outside Wickes DIY while I waited for a taxi (I should have walked) and I spotted this tray of different stones and it made me smile.

It just looked like glimpses into different stream beds and sea shores. 

They were really good and I picked up the car at 5pm, and paid exactly what we were quoted. The clutch is now a lot higher. Since January I have had the steering adjusted (I thought it was my driving, but getting the wheel alignment sorted has made a massive difference), the new oil sump, the full service, I'm using better petrol and now the new clutch. It's not that long ago that I had the new catalytic converter and new brake discs. It's like I'm driving a new-to-me car! I was really struggling on the way home. I took the long way back (six miles) but stalled a few times. I've only ever driven my driving instructor's car and red, and now it feels completely different. I was in pieces by the time I got home. Driving in rush hour didn't help at all!

Tomorrow I'm driving bear to school. We are far enough north so that we are not in the worst of the wind, and far enough south so that we shouldn't be hit by the snow, but I wouldn't be looking forward to it anyway even if I wasn't stalling the car and struggling. As I am going to be struggling with the gears in tricky weather conditions, I've dug out my P plates. I may not be a 'just passed my test' driver, but I'm going to be jumping and stalling and it's only fair to other drivers that they know that I may not be able to go with the flow of traffic as usual. I'm also going to try and pick up some stuff on the way home. It's half term next week, so I could do with picking up some extra snacks. 

I've plotted a route with the minimum chance of flooded areas and fallen trees, but there is almost certainly going to be challenges. Please send good vibes.

Hugs and good health to all. 


  1. Good luck with the journey tomorrow on the school run. It is dead calm here tonight. Reading about your different selves reminds me of the new book by Todd Herman about creating an alter ego - a persona you can create or copy to be a different person for the job, task or lifestyle that you desire. Apparently, Boris's alter ego is a cross between Winston Churchill and the Incredible Hulk, whilst Beyonce named hers Sasha Fierce. It must be hard to put yourself forward for critism - I think you are amazing that you are so involved with your writing and are published - that is an achievement in itself. x

  2. Oh I hope you made it there and back safely. We are forecast snow tomorrow so it will be a stay in bed morning. I don't want to go for a walk and slip on any slushy bits.

  3. Thanks for the lovely comment. That might be just the idea. It is scary putting yourself out there.

    I'm glad you got the car back. It's a good idea to get the L plates out again. They don't have them over here and people are not patient at all! I feel as though I could use those in the snow.

    I hope the wind dies down and the journey to Bear's school is trouble-free.

  4. ... sending good vibes as requested! ...

    I hope today's driving doesn't cause you too much stress. I'm sure Bear will be appreciative of your efforts ... and the fact that he doesn't have to get to and from school by bus! Take care xx

  5. Hope you had a safe drive to school and back!