Saturday 12 May 2018

Kissed by a Stranger

I was minding my own business and nipping into the ladies in Leeds Market.  They are relatively okay and, importantly, free.  Just as I was about to go in a gentleman stopped me and asked me to take the elderly lady with him to the ladies. 

I'm not trained for this. 

The poor old lady had something like dementia and it took some doing getting her around two corners and into a stall.  Then it took even more doing to convince her to shut the door before she pulled her pants down.  At this point she grabbed me and went for the kiss.  I managed to turn my head just in time and got a smacker on the cheek.  Then it took even more skill getting her out and back to the gentleman.  I'd never seen either of them before.

I had a relatively uneventful quick trip to York (I managed to get out!!! Yay!!!) and then when I got home it turns out that the gate from next door but one is entirely missing.  This happened some time while I went out and leaves them with a problem regarding their small, untrained Jack Russell who accelerates to around 50mph as soon as he gets out.  He's a lovely woofer, but he really needs a better routine.  I am a complete soft touch with dogs, I am an utter softie when it comes to cuddles and fuss, but I honestly believe that dogs, like young kids, thrive on routine and predictability.

I'm not sure about the warble in the UK Eurovision entry but dammit, the girl did good and I am so impressed.  Her nerves must have been on the very edge even before the stage invasion but she kept calm and carried on.  I'm typing before the end of the contest, so no idea of what will happen, but she earned a lot of respect and I'm sure not just from me. 

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