Thanks for all the comments, they are much appreciated and I think that for now I will stick to the liquid soap - well, bubble bath.
I have a cookbook from the 1960s (I think - updated after 1957, but looking old and all in imperial measures so definitely before 1971) called Yorkshire WI Recipe Book. Those sort of books are fascinating as they show what people were actually eating and have recipes that strike out away from the same old stuff that is in the glossy cook books.
One cake struck me as interesting. I have no intention of making it. It does look expensive but the real block is that you are supposed to leave it for six months (yes, six months) before cutting into it. That's around 180 days or half a year. I cannot imagine a cake being allowed to sit for half a year here before being eaten. So on the understanding that I have not tried this recipe and I have no intention of trying it, here it is.
Ingredients: 5oz sugar, 5oz butter, 5oz beaten egg [never seen that before], half ounce of self raising flour, 5 and one half ounces of plain flour, 4oz crystallised ginger, 4oz crystallised pineapple, 4oz cherries [I think from context these are glace cherries], 4oz citron peel [again from context I would say this was candied], one half ounce of ground almonds, 2oz chopped walnuts, 1lb [14 ounces] sultanas.
Cream together butter and sugar and gradually add the beaten egg. Add the flour together with the remaining mixed ingredients and mix together lightly. Bake at 360F for two hours and when cold wrap up and put in a tin for at least six months. Sprinkle with icing sugar before serving.
I plan to try some biscuits from this book when I get round to it, I'll let you know, but I had some success with the mumsnet microwave chocolate cake. I am not sure, it lacked something. DH thought it was too dry, I thought it would benefit from something like added rum essence or more vanilla essence. Bear ate every crumb.