Monday, 21 December 2015

My Mind May be Delivered Later

Yesterday I posted that the order I thought had been ordered for today was delivered yesterday.  I was appalled - there is no other way to describe it!  I honestly thought I was completely losing my marbles.  I had so much stuff I was planning on adding after I had had a think.  In desperation I added yet another order.  As it is my kitchen looks like someone has opened the ceiling and dropped stuff everywhere.  However there were some bits that I just needed.

This morning I was woken by a phone call from Tesco.  Their lovely customer service lady was checking that I did actually want this order, as one was delivered yesterday.  I was half asleep but managed to say very clearly - yes please!  I now suspect that there may have been a glitch, but it doesn't matter.  We will have a small excess of stuff, but it will be okay.

Actually, we already have a massive excess of stuff and I go in the kitchen and worry that I will never see the floor again.

I really resented being woken,even in a good cause, as I had a late night and couldn't sleep.  Then bear shouted me at 5am.  I stumbled into his room and looked at him, barely conscious.  He had managed to dislodge all his bedclothes and was covered by a very small corner of the quilt.  I tucked him back up and after clearly telling me he had had a nightmare, he went straight back to sleep.  Lucky him!

Last night I thought it was a good idea to pull out a load of furniture.  I am now typing in a half re-arranged room with piles of stuff everywhere.  I was sober when I did it as well, so I have no excuse.  I am starting to quite genuinely worry about my mental state.  And I need to try and fiddle around with the whole birthday outing thing.  But I have found the knitting pattern I was looking for, so that's a good thing.  There is always a silver lining.


  1. You're not losing your mind, you're just trying to deal with a difficult situation - your first CHristmas without your father. Lack of sleep on top of the other stress you've had is bound to cause problems, try to shrug your shoulders and accept that stuff happens, and you're doing remarkably well. SOmetimes getting out of bed at all is an achievement, so make sure you give yourself credit for all the great things you are achieving.
    It's going to be a tough Christmas, full of difficult memories and comparisons. Try not to worry, there is no right or wrong way to do things, there's just *your* way. If you've forgotten anything, it doesn't matter. If you've got too much of something else, it's not a problem.
    to you xxx

  2. The first Christmas/birthday/New Year/Special Occasion after the death of a loved one is always hard. Cut yourself some slack. (((HUGS)))