He isn't even a teenager.
Tonight bear bitterly complained that none of the jeans in his drawer fitted him. What he actually meant was that he didn't want me to wash the skinny jeans he had been wearing for a week. My view was that if they didn't get a wash soon I would have to hit them with a hammer to get them in the washing machine.
I know that there are a pair of Bench jeans in there that he has loved for around two years but not only are they not his lovely skinny jeans that he doesn't want washing but they are now barely fitting him. One more growth spurt and they are finished. I asked bear if he was asking me for more jeans. I got a baffled, 'I don't know.' in reply. I knew the answer. What he really wants is for me not to wash his skinny jeans. The jeans are disgusting. Apart from the general falling in mud puddles and encounters with yogurt and baked beans, I don't think that the same pair of jeans should be worn by a small boy for days on end.
I'm going to be digging out the suit bear wore for the wedding last September as I believe he may well fit into it for the funeral. Father always liked to be smart, so we will all be dressing up. Bear will like that bit and insist on wearing a tie. Bear can be convinced to wear all sorts of smart things, peacocking around and generally pretending to be a spy. However this does not include new jeans. In his view he has a pair of jeans that are perfectly adequate thank you and they would be better for not being washed.
I'm going to have a quick look at my friend eBay for skinny jeans, but to be honest I am not in a hurry to get him some more. This is training for the teenage years, and I am taking it seriously.